Wasted potential....

     Society hates very few things more than wasted potential.  And you see it so often.  If we are honest with ourselves, we usually can see where we have a lot of wasted potential of our own.  "If I only would've done more/better...." is a refrain that is echoed in our heads so often.  That's why doing our best at things brings out a sort of euphoria.  But let's be honest, its easy to make this into a self-defeating effort if we aren't careful.

     So the balancing act becomes a war between, "I'm good enough and am happy with my effort" and "I could've done better".  Between slacker and over-achiever?  We're back to needing a middle ground again and getting away from the dysfunction of all or nothing, black or white.

     What about in others though?  We watch people that could be so much better and it often makes us mad.  Why is that?  What is it about seeing squandered potential that we make our business?  We do it with our kids in sports or schoolwork...."Keep your eye on the ball next time...or, You should've studied harder and you'd have gotten an A".  We do it in the gym, "If he would just work more on his mobility or strength, he'd be so much better".  So the message becomes a balance between "You are good enough" and "You are not good enough".  This cuts to the core of the wounds we come into adulthood with.

     What's the alternative?  Celebrating the average performance?  Yes! (sort of).  People should be celebrated for just showing up.  Should we tell our kids their strikeouts are just as cool as their hits?  I think that depends on what "they" think.  Do they put a premium on it?  Then we empathize with their feelings and not interject our own.

     My oldest son just wants to do enough in school to pass.  My daughter wants all A's.  They set their own standards and I support them.  He brings home a C and is happy about it, "good job, you passed".  She brings home a B and is upset about it, "Keep trying sweetie, maybe next time you set aside more study time....".  But ultimately (if you aren't careful) potential becomes a judgment in good enough or not good enough.  It really should be an endorsement of the person's feelings about things through support that says, "Whatever you want out of life, I'm right here for you, standing behind you, supporting you.  You are good enough."