If this is true, why can't we just say what we are really feeling instead of getting mad? Fear....
Imagine the following:
1. Someone blatantly disregards your request about something in their actions. If they are a friend, you feel hurt. If they are an acquaintance, you feel disrespected.
"Hey, you made me feel like what I say doesn't matter to you.....in the future I really need you to...."
2. Your kid doesn't call you and is out later than he is supposed to be, out of contact. He finally gets a hold of you or comes walking in the house late. You were afraid and worried.
"Hey, I was really worried and scared about if you were ok or not....."
Unfortunately expressing feelings is either scary or unfamiliar for many. Its far easier to cover with anger and get pissed.
So why is it scary or unfamiliar?
*Did you grow up in a house where conveying real emotion wasn't practiced?
*Or were the only regular examples anger and so that seemed normal?
*Expressing "real" feelings requires vulnerability and exposure. Are you afraid of what happens when you "put it out there"?
Once you figure out that you are a grown up and are not bound by the past, time to make some changes. Starting with expressing the real underlying emotions you feel instead of anger.
The other piece of things is to look through eyes of love. There's an idea that love casts out fear.
That's a whole nother blog post though.....
No comments:
Post a Comment