Blog summary: If God (the perfect parent) couldn't parent Adam and Eve well enough to keep them from bringing sin onto the entire world....how can you put the pressure on yourself to be a "good enough" parent??
If you want to hear more, keep reading, but that sums it up.
Ok, so I have a philosophy in parenting that not everyone shares...but seriously think about it. God was the parent to Adam and Eve, he wasn't overbearing, permissive, or laying guilt trips, he was/is perfect. So that being said, his kids still went their own way, made bad choices, and let him down.
He had a contingency plan though (as we all should) for if they made the wrong choices. It revolved around consequence yes, but with a lot of love and connection too.
If our kids turn out great, try not to pat yourself on the back too much, just count yourself fortunate. If they turn out as rotten degenerates try not to beat yourself up to much, they have freedom of choice.
And speaking of that.....
The ultimate expression of love of someone, is their freedom. God didn't put the forbidden tree in the back of the garden under lock and key. It was in the MIDDLE of the garden. Hello???
They had freedom, they weren't living a sheltered life. The tree was in their faces. Do you reallllllllly think you can control your kids into being good and making the right choices????
Do your best, hit the pillow at night knowing that you are as imperfect as they are and that you love them and are trying your best. Life is meant to be lived, not controlled.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Why it took me 2.5 yrs to get muscle ups
I started crossfit at 40 back in September 2011. Before that I was an ultramarathoner for 12 or so years. Before that I was a weightlifter, wanna be meat head (never quite got HUGE...).
If you don't know what a muscle up is, here:
I did my 1st one of these probably about .....9 months into my crossfit. I was super excited. Then from that point (about June 2012) until just this April (2014) I struggled to do them at all. Every few months or so I would maybe get 1.
Now I have them. But why?! I will tell you what I figured out that NO ONE had ever told me.
I heard for years (literally) that it would come, that I was strong enough, that I was "almost" there. I drilled every drill I could drill. Worked with different coaches, concentrated on them, blah blah blah.
I'm one of those athletes that has a little too much mobility in the spine. I am super flexible in both extension and flexion. Part of the kipping movement of the muscle up is to arch
your back on the back swing and then forcefully contract your abs creating a "hollow"
I did my 1st one of these probably about .....9 months into my crossfit. I was super excited. Then from that point (about June 2012) until just this April (2014) I struggled to do them at all. Every few months or so I would maybe get 1.
Now I have them. But why?! I will tell you what I figured out that NO ONE had ever told me.
I heard for years (literally) that it would come, that I was strong enough, that I was "almost" there. I drilled every drill I could drill. Worked with different coaches, concentrated on them, blah blah blah.
I'm one of those athletes that has a little too much mobility in the spine. I am super flexible in both extension and flexion. Part of the kipping movement of the muscle up is to arch
while pulling your self up to the rings. Once you are up to the rings, you throw yourself forward and are on top of the rings basically.
HERE WAS MY PROBLEM......
There is a neuromuscular reflex called 'reciprocal inhibition' that inhibits opposing muscles during movement. For example, if you contract your elbow flexors (biceps) then your elbow extenors (triceps) are inhibited.
I was working so hard on the arch portion of my backswing that my abs were effectively shutting down via the RI principle. So when it came time to initiate the aggressive abdominal contraction to come out of the backswing, I had to start from zero. I had arched so aggressively that I'd effectively shut down my abs. When I went to turn them back on, there was a lag time and I was unable to generate the needed force to get me up to the rings.
My buddy Alex saw this as me "losing tension". All I could think was that I was not losing tension, I was forcefully tensing up my spinal extensors very aggressively. But as soon as I trusted that he might be on to something, I tensed my abs DURING the arching backswing. It immediately felt counter-intuitive because it felt like it was (and it was) limiting the amount of arch I was able to obtain in the backswing.
BUT....I was able to engage my abs immediately and very aggressively. I immediately popped up over the rings. Then I did another and another every minute or so.
Since then I've been able to do them without any real problem at all. I have to remember though on every rep to maintain abdominal tension in the backswing or else they shut down and it gets hard to get up to the rings all of the sudden again.
Hope this helps some of you!!
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Integrity is a funny thing....
My buddy and I just had a terrible experience with a woman regarding an auction item that she had donated, we bid on and won, and then she reneged on.
It was a funny thing because I guess I forget what its like to deal with people who say one thing and do another.
Years ago, the contractor who built our house defaulted on paying the insulation sub-contractor. The sub called me waaaay after the fact and asked me if I would pay the bill. It was over $5,000. It was clear that it was not my legal responsibility to pay it as the time to file a lien had long passed. I felt bad that they did the work and didn't get paid. The general contractor had long since filed bankruptcy. At the time I told them that I was planning to list my house for sale the following month and as soon as it sold I would cut them a check. My house didn't sell and they never called me.
A few years after this we actually did sell our house. We didn't profit on the house as the market tumbled, but we did have a little equity from paying down the loan. Guess who wrote a check for the 5k? Right. Could I have found another place for the money? Would they have EVER expected a check? Was it my "fault" that they didn't get paid to begin with?
This is one of the 1st times I've ever mentioned this story come to think of it. It just seemed like the right thing to do, honor my word. I struggled with the idea of even paying them at the time they 1st called me, but after discussing it with Kathy and the idea of how much money we thought we would profit from the house, we decided we would just pay them when we sold the house. Once the decision was made and I gave them my word, it was made. It was only a matter of time until we finally did sell the house.
I sure hope that the lady we dealt with in this auction figures out that in this world the only thing you truly have is not material things or stuff, but your word. And once that becomes not worth a damn, then you really truly have nothing in spite of what you think.
It was a funny thing because I guess I forget what its like to deal with people who say one thing and do another.
Years ago, the contractor who built our house defaulted on paying the insulation sub-contractor. The sub called me waaaay after the fact and asked me if I would pay the bill. It was over $5,000. It was clear that it was not my legal responsibility to pay it as the time to file a lien had long passed. I felt bad that they did the work and didn't get paid. The general contractor had long since filed bankruptcy. At the time I told them that I was planning to list my house for sale the following month and as soon as it sold I would cut them a check. My house didn't sell and they never called me.
A few years after this we actually did sell our house. We didn't profit on the house as the market tumbled, but we did have a little equity from paying down the loan. Guess who wrote a check for the 5k? Right. Could I have found another place for the money? Would they have EVER expected a check? Was it my "fault" that they didn't get paid to begin with?
This is one of the 1st times I've ever mentioned this story come to think of it. It just seemed like the right thing to do, honor my word. I struggled with the idea of even paying them at the time they 1st called me, but after discussing it with Kathy and the idea of how much money we thought we would profit from the house, we decided we would just pay them when we sold the house. Once the decision was made and I gave them my word, it was made. It was only a matter of time until we finally did sell the house.
I sure hope that the lady we dealt with in this auction figures out that in this world the only thing you truly have is not material things or stuff, but your word. And once that becomes not worth a damn, then you really truly have nothing in spite of what you think.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
5 Levels of the athlete and how to coach them all
My coach and I discussed that there are various levels of the crossfit athlete. Here's a summary:
1. Unable to perform movements
2. Able to perform them poorly
3. Able to perform them better
4. Able to perform them well
5. Able to perform them perfectly
There is a continuum that you operate on. Lots of times we can see someone go from "not able to perform" to "able to perform poorly". This is a major milestone for many and we celebrate this of course. But the learning curve is literally JUST getting started. It's important to allow the athlete to succeed in this stage of "getting it" (albeit getting it ugly), before we try to move to better. But we MUST move to better!
Kipping pullups are a great example. Going from "can't do one" to "I can do one" almost always looks like hell. :) Then even at the games you see athletes that are far from perfect in their efficiency of movement while others have a beautiful pullup.
At the CF gym I used to attend, many of us got coaching of how to do things adequately, but never seemed to get the coaching needed to get to the next levels. I think they were too busy teaching people how to go from "can't do at all" to "can do adequate". A perfect example: My buddy Cory's deadlift was stuck at around 275 when we switched to Crossfit Anywhere. All he needed was to get the coaching cues to take him from "performing adequately" to "performing well" and he jumped immediately into the 300's.
Many times the advanced athlete is doing something good enough to "get by" and never gets that coaching to go from "doing well" to "chasing perfection". I have SO many examples of my extra learning to do things better and better. I certainly knew how to do plenty of things just fine and at my old gym. I was allowed to do things ok or just alright, but rarely coached beyond that into the chasing of perfection.
That is the basis behind the idea of offering something to EVERY athlete in the class. From the person just learning "how to at all", to the veteran that needs to learn the virtuosity we care so much about.
As an athlete, if you are happy being good at something, that's fine. However, if you want to chase perfection of movement, then you need a coach that is going to coach you regardless of if you are proficient or a beginner. As a coach you should be constantly offering to bring people up another level!
1. Unable to perform movements
2. Able to perform them poorly
3. Able to perform them better
4. Able to perform them well
5. Able to perform them perfectly
There is a continuum that you operate on. Lots of times we can see someone go from "not able to perform" to "able to perform poorly". This is a major milestone for many and we celebrate this of course. But the learning curve is literally JUST getting started. It's important to allow the athlete to succeed in this stage of "getting it" (albeit getting it ugly), before we try to move to better. But we MUST move to better!
Kipping pullups are a great example. Going from "can't do one" to "I can do one" almost always looks like hell. :) Then even at the games you see athletes that are far from perfect in their efficiency of movement while others have a beautiful pullup.
At the CF gym I used to attend, many of us got coaching of how to do things adequately, but never seemed to get the coaching needed to get to the next levels. I think they were too busy teaching people how to go from "can't do at all" to "can do adequate". A perfect example: My buddy Cory's deadlift was stuck at around 275 when we switched to Crossfit Anywhere. All he needed was to get the coaching cues to take him from "performing adequately" to "performing well" and he jumped immediately into the 300's.
Many times the advanced athlete is doing something good enough to "get by" and never gets that coaching to go from "doing well" to "chasing perfection". I have SO many examples of my extra learning to do things better and better. I certainly knew how to do plenty of things just fine and at my old gym. I was allowed to do things ok or just alright, but rarely coached beyond that into the chasing of perfection.
That is the basis behind the idea of offering something to EVERY athlete in the class. From the person just learning "how to at all", to the veteran that needs to learn the virtuosity we care so much about.
As an athlete, if you are happy being good at something, that's fine. However, if you want to chase perfection of movement, then you need a coach that is going to coach you regardless of if you are proficient or a beginner. As a coach you should be constantly offering to bring people up another level!
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