My 13 year old had his first girl come over to visit yesterday...It made Kathy and I freak out a little. There are a few schools of thought on how to approach things. We've had several "talks" with the kids about "things" over the years, but now its getting real.
The Duggar approach. If you've seen the show 19 kids and counting (they may be up in the 20's by now, who knows...) they had a system for their kids were only allowed to hug side-to-side, they weren't allowed to ever be alone. It's basically a first kiss on the wedding day scenario.
The Jase Robertson approach. If you've seen Duck Dynasty, Jase is the 2nd oldest brother and has 2 teenage sons and a little girl. He says, "Lips on lips, hands on hands". His idea is you've got to give them first base. But hands don't go anywhere else....and neither do lips....
Okay fine, we watch a lot of TV....
The "here's a pack of condoms, be careful" approach. This approach isn't on any of the TV shows I've seen but it for sure is out there. You basically assume that the kid is going to get himself going sexually at some point and you prepare him for it.
I think there are solid points to be made by all 3 of these approaches. Like all decisions and choices there are pros and cons. I plan to sit down today/tonight with my young man and discuss respecting women, future goals, present risks, and see where it goes.
I think that the biggest anxiety is always the fear of the unknown and by communicating, I'm hoping that the anxiety created by talking about such subjects is able to diffuse the anxiety about potential sticky situations he finds himself in down the road....
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