Why non CF folks think CF folks are jerks...

Why do most non-crossfitter look at us like we're jerks?

     The short answer...nobody likes a zealot.  

Zealot-a person who is fanatical and uncompromising in pursuit of their religious, political, or other ideals.

     
     Most folks believe what they believe and, unless they are seeking answers, its usually offensive to them to be given a recipe that they didn't ask for.  "You should really come to my CF gym...."

     It reminds me of my life before I came to my spiritual beliefs.  When folks would come knocking on the door to tell me about Jesus, it was at best a nuisance, at worst irritating.  ("Get these Jesus freaks out of here!!")

     I know a lot of folks that reject faith entirely because of their encounters with a zealot early in life.  You hear stories of folks that were "beaten over the head with religion" at a young age and grew to disdain it for a long long time, if not forever.

     So what is the answer in getting folks to share our love of Crossfit?

I think the answer is generally the same across the board when it comes to sharing our faith in anything.  

1. Work off of the principle of love and not fear.  (You're going to hell only works for so long and doesn't do much to create a love relationship with God.)  For example, mocking or condemning someone's exercise program is a poor choice vs. explaining that they might really enjoy coming to CF with you as your guest.

2. Be a beacon and an example without belaboring the point.  There's a reason people make the joke: How do you know someone does CF?  Because its all they ever talk about.  Strive for balance in your life and conversations or people are going to label you in the "fanatical zealot" camp.

3. Keep in mind that many people have issues with the thing you love that have nothing to do with you or what you love.  Folks that struggle with self acceptance and feeling good enough are often going to be reluctant to be vulnerable and try something new when it comes to exercise.  Just like folks with a skewed concept of God and faith will be very defensive and closed to stepping out of their insulated world view to look into different spiritual beliefs.  Tread lightly.

Harden the F up!

     I have 3 children.  One of them (the youngest) is in the school nurse's office a few times a week; always seems to have an ailment.  I took him to a cardiologist (don't ask) a few months ago and after he examined him the doc pulled me aside and said, "Is he...would you say...usually dramatic?".  My oldest one on the other hand literally stopped crying over pain at age 3 or 4.  I recall being at a birthday party and he took a header off of a plastic play slide.  I was standing with 2 other dads and one of them got a little concerned as he watched it happen and said, "Whoa!  Is he okay???".  The other dad turned to him an said, "You don't know Noah....".

     What's the point?  I guess the point is that I have to work hard to convey to my other 2 kids (and myself) that there is no one in the world that is you.  So when you see their struggles and you gauge them against "what you would do or have done", there is a good chance you are being unfair, un-compassionate, unloving.  At the very least, you are making a judgment that is based on a guess and not reality.  Do I think my youngest "really" has a tummy ache everyday, chest pain on occasion, terrible pain from a superficial scratch that brings him to tears???  Or do I think he might be crying wolf a little?  Well....maybe a little bit of both.  :)

     It's so hard to not just tell him to toughen up, quit complaining, look at his brother, you can't be serious, c'mon!, etc....  But I think to myself, what is the end point on that kind of treatment?  I'd like to think it is that he learns to "be tough".  And while that may be true, I believe that the other likely outcome is that he learns that his relationship with his dad is not a safe one to express hurts and pain and upsets.  That I don't believe him, that I don't believe "in" him.  Wow....that is the LAST thing I would want....

     The world struggles so much with judging and comparing each other.  Everyone has a different genetic code (read: pain tolerance), a different upbringing (read: 1st born, last born), a different story, a different struggle, and a different place they are coming from.  We need to realize that most people are fundamentally trying to do their best but all of us are in a wounded state of one degree or another.

     So I work hard to make sure to show love....what's the worst thing compassion can bring?  He may never toughen up, but if the trade is that he and I remain connected and close....I'll take a softie!