Intelligence, experience, love

     I've got 3 kids.  From an academic standpoint, I have a straight A student, another that gets lots of C's, and another that struggles to pass every year.

     I think I used to say things about the last 2 like, "oh they're smart, but just haven't found their way or their strengths yet.".  But the older these kids get, I start to think that maybe that some folks just aren't as smart as others.  I mean in life I have no problem thinking that about people I run into.  Some folks just need more time to "get things" that others "get" right away.  I guess we are a lot like computers, some people process fast, others slow.  And maybe some will never understand certain things that others do.  

     But this gauge isn't necessarily an indicator of 1. The kind of person they are and 2. their future success.  We all know the really smart person who screwed up their life or is just a straight up jerk.  And we all know the person who never did well in school but went on to be very successful in business and/or was the "nicest guy".

     So I guess I started to look at other things that might be attributes I can cultivate in my kids.  And I came up with Intelligence, experience, and love.

Intelligence

     I push my kids to do their best.  I ask them to be proud of working hard and achieving.  But I also realize that some folks might be what you call a C student. 

Experience

     In a way this is what some people call common sense.  The experiences of life.  But it is also a type of learning that is often not an academic type.  I'm currently more intelligent than my youngest son, but his experience on the computer blows my mind at what he can do.  And so I push the kids to get understanding of things through life and its encounters.

Love

     I believe this virtue is so very important to cultivate.  And it comes in many forms.  Kindness to people, to animals, respect for others as well as the earth.  Understanding that there is so much more in this life and world than just us as individuals.  The idea that we are a collective, a community.  And then the idea that relationships of a 1-on-1 nature are where we are supposed to be most safe and secure and learn real love.

     So I hope that this lack of "smarts" turns out to be a blessing for my family.  Because if I had 3 straight A students, I might fall into the trap of thinking that was the determinant of success.  I don't know because I don't have that.  What I do have are 3 kids that I think are really great people and each have their gifts and their struggles and I'm hoping they take the 3 virtues above and work on them the best they can but then at the end of the day be happy with who they are.

Why I don't go to church or college anymore

OPINION ALERT.....

     I was discussing with someone recently the subject of church.  It came up that I went for many years, my kids went as well, but that our family doesn't go any longer.

      It got me to thinking.  I feel like church attendance is a lot like going to college.  You often will go to college, get your degree and then graduate.  It doesn't mean that you stop learning though.  It simply means that you have gone, obtained a foundation, and now are (hopefully) putting that into practice in the world as you continue to grow and learn from life.

     Is there more to obtain from going to more college or more church?  Of course.  At what point though does it become something that you are no longer enjoying, or maybe obtaining information at a rate that doesn't justify the attendance in your mind?  I think that is different for everyone.
   
     Is there anything wrong with continual college or church attendance throughout your whole life? Of course not.  Is it enjoyable, do you feel that you are getting something out of it?

     I'd also say that on the other side of the spectrum, I've met many folks that were extremely loving and Christlike and hadn't had much if any exposure to church.  The same goes for the self made business man with no college.  So do you HAVE to go to either?  Not necessarily.....

     Part 2 of this......

     I believe in a personal God who "knows" me.  This is a Christian tenant.  As such, I don't believe in obligation and guilt as motivators.  I think of the old song I heard as a child, "You've got a friend in Jesus" and I don't think that I visit my friend only 1 day a week out of duty or habit.  I think that I spend time with my friend all the time, allowing him to guide and counsel me.  My friend wants me to be happy, not burdened.  I may have met him in a church, but then the foundation and understanding was built and I began to walk with him daily through real life.


     I went to college in my early 20's.  When I was older (late 30's) I went back to college and obtained my business degree.  It was a worthwhile decision.  You never know, I may go back again some day.  But I am always learning... My life learning doesn't end because I'm out of school.  My desire to grow closer to God and love people doesn't end because I no longer go to church.  Do I want my kids to go to college and/or church for their own foundation?  If they would like to, yes.

What I believe

         My daughter started asking me questions about God, heaven, evolution, etc....when my mother was dying last month.  What I believe now is a bit different than what I once believed.  I am going to write some of it down for me, her, and my other kids.  I hope that my kids can take what I put forth and then engage in their own journey and find what they believe.

     Let's start with this idea: I feel like I don't know anything for sure.  If you want argue with me, don't.  My favorite thing to say is, "You might be right".  I think that faith is the absence of knowing anything for sure.  If you "know" then you don't need faith.


     Is there a God?
I believe that there is a God that created all things.  The big bang may well have happened.  I go back to the question of "what was before the big bang"?  The universe arose out of nothing sounds an awful lot like a supernatural thing to me.  So if I imagine that time and space are something that God is not bound by, then he has always existed, even before the universe.

     How did the universe come to be?
God's creating all things may very well have been through an evolutionary mechanism, or it may have been through a creation mechanism, but more than likely a bit of both.  The account in the bible about creation would seem to be a bit of a simplistic explanation to a guy (Moses) who wouldn't have stood a chance at understanding the way it really happened.  I've told my daughter that God explaining to Moses the way he created things was a lot like what I used to tell her about where babies came from when she was 3.  There was no way I could tell her the actual way it happened, it would've been impossible for her to fathom.  If I stuck to my guns today on that story I told her as a 3 year old, she might think I was a nut job.  Do I think that the universe was created in 6 days?  No, probably not.  Does the fact that it is described like that in the bible bother me?  No.  Seems a reasonable way to discuss it with someone who doesn't have a clue.

     How do you know the bible is accurate and wasn't re-written?
I think that we've seen some fantastic information come out of the dead sea scrolls from the 1940's and 50's showing that things didn't change from the 2nd century BC through the version we have in the 9th century AD and now in regards to the old testament.  Then there is minimal debate on the new testaments historical preservation.  That said, there still is an issue with how to interpret what you are reading.

     What in the bible is literal, figurative, true, false, whatever?
I believe that there are some Old Testament accounts that explain things in simple terms that are metaphorical or symbolic for simplicity sake.  Things that would generally be true in principal but not necessarily in detail.

     I see the 1st 5 books of the bible as a constitution for the new Hebrew nation.  A manual on how to run a culture/nation that was issued to people who had been slaves in Egypt for generations and had no idea how to live free.  This would be a rule book for this new society to preserve them together and teach them what is in their best interests.  Is it applicable to us today?  Some yes, some no.  Honor your mother and father, sure.  Stone your disobedient children, probably not......  This would be a case of applicable then, not now.  Kept the rules in place and the society from acting up now didn't it?  But is stoning our kids for today?  No.

     New testament.  1st and foremost I have one authority here, Jesus.  What did he say, what did he do.  What he said and did is as applicable and true today as it was then.  It boils down to loving one another, period.  Measure everything else in the new testament (or entire bible for that matter) in light of the words of Jesus.

     Why the new testament?  Why Jesus?
I believe that there was a need for God's true nature to be revealed.  People were misunderstanding who he really was and what he wanted of us.  Even now a lot of folks think there is a disparity between God of the old testament and Jesus in the new.  Things just didn't come across completely accurate when the writers of the old testament put their pens down.  So measure everything in the old testament against the nature of Jesus and if it doesn't fit, something was maybe misunderstood or we might be dealing with a piece that needs to be acknowledged as not understandable or applicable at present.

     Why did Jesus get sent?  1. This is what God is really like and 2. He gave the new commandment of loving one another as a measure of if we are followers of God.

     What is sin?  What about homosexuality?
I've recently heard a good description of sin as anything that undermines love.  Is eating shrimp a sin?  Come on now, stop it!

     So how does a monogamous homosexual relationship fall into this?  I don't really know.  I know its not normal biologically.  But I also know that homosexuals can fulfill the criteria of following Jesus too.  So how can I condemn them?  How is promiscuous heterosexuality and homosexuality different?  Maybe in context homosexuality in biblical times wasn't ever conventionally monogamous like it often is now.  I don't know.  I just know that if I'm to love my neighbor...then its not my job to worry about it.

     What is heaven?  Who goes to heaven?  
I think that heaven is being in God's presence after we die.  I don't know what that's going to be like or how that works, but I think it will be great.  On the flip side, I think that if you do not go to heaven it means that you will be without God after you die.  And that will be lonely, sad and not great.

     So who goes to heaven....  I think that it is going to be a situation that comes back to what Jesus said will denote if you are his follower, your love for one another.  I also think that it is up to God alone and we would be surprised at who is and who is not going.

     The thief on the cross is a story that makes you think that if you just figure it out before you die, you're all set.  I can't help believe that it has a lot more to do with the transformation in your heart and less about your words.  And so deathbed conversions.....I just don't know.

     What about people who are other religions?
Are Christians the exclusive holders of the ability to love?  Can you deny Jesus with your words but follow him by your life?  What happens then?  Ghandi was a Hindu, a pretty loving one.  I think we also know of plenty of examples of people denying him with their life but accepting him with words.

     Ultimately I believe that Jesus truly is the only way to the father and to heaven, but I think that has little to do with where you go to church, how much you pray, and what you call yourself.  It comes back to your love for one another.

Without faith.....

     "Without faith it is impossible to please God", from Hebrews 11:6.

     There's a story told about destroying a young boys faith.  A man asked "who in here thinks their faith is unshakable?"  A boy raised his hand.  The man said, "ok son, I have a quarter in my pocket.  Do you believe I do?  Based on what I've told you, what you know about me, etc...what do you believe?".  The boy said, "I believe you do."

     At this point, the boy has faith.  He does not have answers or proof, only what he believes to be true.  The man then shows the boy that indeed there is a quarter in his pocket.  He announces, "Son, I've successfully ruined your faith.  You no longer have faith, you have the actual proof now, the answer."

     So it goes with our faith in God.  You do not have the proof or the answers, you only have what you believe to be true.  You might be right and you might be wrong.  Saying that out loud causes a lot of problems for some people.  To me it's rather comforting to not need to have proof.

     Are you positive about what you believe to be true?  How can you be?  Faith leaves room for a different answer by its very definition.  This is VERY different from not believing anything though.  The boy in the story didn't throw up his hands and say he refused to believe anything.  He took what his experience was and made came up with what he thought was true.  According to the biblical verse above, throwing up your hands and refusing to believe anything makes it impossible to please God...  I would submit that being arrogant about the certainty of your belief is also discounting what it means to have faith and thus to please God...

     For many years I was absolutely positive that what I believed was true.  I would argue with others about it.  My favorite thing to say to people now is, "You might be right".  I honestly have no clue what the answer is, I only know what I believe based on my experience.  That's all God seems to ask of us.  Figure it out for yourself, have faith cuz you'll never truly know.